- Exhibiting a Spiritual Foundation and Ongoing Spiritual Practice
- Loving God, following Jesus Christ, and being guided by the Holy Spirit; living a life of discipleship.
- Praying actively and nurturing spiritual practices.
- Being called to ordained ministry by God and the Church.
- Continuing discernment of one’s call in community.
- Understanding the power of the Holy Spirit at work through the elements of Christian worship to nurture faith.
- Exhibiting a commitment to lifelong spiritual development and faithful personal stewardship.
- Loving God, following Jesus Christ, and being guided by the Holy Spirit; living a life of discipleship.
I understand the mark of Exhibiting a Spiritual Foundation and Ongoing Spiritual Practice as a call to make my faith visible. This includes through how I live, treat others, and respond to to those who are oppressed and experiencing suffering. Through my work with children and families within the child welfare system, I have encountered people whose circumstances are complicated and whose choices are not always easily understandable to persons outside of those contexts. There have been circumstances where, due to their experiences with addiction, mental health, and trauma, persons have made choices that placed others, including their children and other family members, at risk. These experiences in my professional life have constantly been a reminder to me that following Jesus requires compassion instead of judgment. It also reminds me that in following Jesus, God’s grace is present even in difficult circumstances, even when I do not fully understand all the nuances. I still need to grow in extending that grace to others and myself, especially when I feel responsible for fixing situations beyond my control, and I am working on this through prayer, reflection, and spiritual direction.
2. Praying actively and nurturing spiritual practices.
I believe that this mark also asks me to cultivate spiritual practices that sustain my relationship with God that go beyond relying on ministry activities alone. During my seminary studies, I have been challenged frequently to move beyond reading Scripture for as a piece of literature for academic assignments. Instead of an academic pursuit, I have been challenged to allow it to speak to my own life. Through my spiritual formation courses, I have learned that prayer is not simply asking God to resolve problems or to check off a list of desires and wants. Prayer is more importantly about making space to listen, lament, and be transformed. There is power in making oneself vulnerable before God and not only seeking, but also listening for God’s promptings. I need to become more consistent with prayer and silence during busy seasons, so I am working toward a sustainable daily rhythm that includes Scripture, reflection, and intentional rest.
3. Being called to ordained ministry by God and the Church.
The mark of Exhibiting a Spiritual Foundation and Ongoing Spiritual Practice also asks me to understand ordained ministry as a calling that involves both personal conviction and the Church’s recognition. My seminary education and participation in congregational life have given me opportunities to explore how my gifts, experiences, and theological convictions might serve the Church. As seen in the two letters of recommendation, I have felt the support of several congregations along my call journey. I have felt a calling to be a pastor since I was sixteen years old. Since that time, I have learned that feeling called is an important part of the journey; however, it is also important to have that call tested and affirmed by others. I continue to grow in articulating my call clearly and connecting my personal sense of vocation with the needs of the wider Church.
4. Continuing discernment of one’s call in community.
This mark not only asks, but also challenges me to remain open to the possibility that God may refine my understanding of ministry through relationships, feedback, and changing circumstances. Feedback can at times be difficult to handle, depending on how it is delivered. I have found, through a variety of contexts, immense growth through conversations with trusted mentors, church leaders, and seminary peers, who have provided opportunities to examine my assumptions and consider perspectives different from my own. For example, I was recently talking with a mentor about my pivot from child welfare to ordained ministry and how I will have challenges surrounding the skepticism that has often come from my previous employment. In helping to recognize this growing edge, I now have the opportunity to guard against it and keep myself in check, not only with myself, but through conversations with my mentors. I have learned since starting the ordination process that the concept of discernment is not a one-time event, or something that happens one time and it is finished. I have powerfully learned that it is an ongoing process that requires humility and trust. I have come to recognize, through these conversations, that I have the need to become more comfortable receiving challenging feedback without immediately defending my intentions, and I am working on listening carefully, pausing, and then responding.
5. Understanding the power of the Holy Spirit at work through the elements of Christian worship to nurture faith.
This mark asks me to not only understand, but also to reflect on the reality that worship is more than a weekly gathering of people in a common space or that is a random collection of familiar rituals; I have come to appreciate that worship forms people spiritually and connects them to the community of faith. It has been through the experience and process of preparing prayers, sermons, and communion liturgy that I have come see how Scripture, music, silence, and shared bread and cup can offer comfort, challenge, and belonging. Through my internship at Penbrook United Church of Christ, I have written communion liturgies, worship services, and prayers. Through these experiences, I have learned that worship can communicate God’s welcome in ways that words alone cannot do alone. As I reflect on this mark, I have come to see that I still need to deepen my understanding of sacramental theology and how different people experience worship- whether through song, prayer or even silence because each person connects with the divine in different ways. One way I am working on this is through continuing to study Christian traditions and seeking feedback from worshipers.
6. Exhibiting a commitment to lifelong spiritual development and faithful personal stewardship.
This mark also discusses “exhibiting a commitment to lifelong spiritual development and faithful personal stewardship.” This asks me to care for my spiritual, emotional, physical, and intellectual well-being not only as a my responsibility to the Church and the congregation I serve, but also my responsibility to God. During my academic studies, the experiences of balancing seminary, professional responsibilities, and congregational involvement have shown me how easily meaningful commitments can compete for time, energy and resources. I have learned that just as much as doing tasks, the act of rest and healthy boundaries are crucially important and are not signs of weak commitment. They are powerful and important practices that help sustain faithful service to God and the Church. One way I am working on this centers around how I need to become more intentional about protecting time for relationships, recreation, and spiritual renewal- all of which are important. I am working to establish realistic boundaries around my responsibilities and ensuring I have appropriate time management skills to meet the needs of both congregation and self.
Exhibiting a Spiritual Foundation and Ongoing Spiritual Practices
I understand my call to ordained ministry as being discerned not only through my personal relationship with God, but also through the Church. I seek to remain open to the possibility that God may use my experiences, relationships, theological education, and even moments of uncertainty to deepen or redirect my understanding of that call.
